Brooklet Police Officer Tracy Atkinson makes the sweltering days a little more pleasant for folks she encounters - she is the "ice cream cop." That is what she calls herself, although most times it's popsicles she hands out to area children. Hey, you can get a good look at your butcher.Ĭhicken wings? All right, you want to talk about guarantees, then.On sizzling summer days, one local police officer does more than patrol the streets fighting crime. My customers need to see that little label looking them right in the eye. Son, if you're not talking about a guarantee, skip it. Our brake pads are made with a noncorrosive polyplating. But if I do, I'm going to make things all better." It should always be on the box, comforting you, calling out "I'm good. Heck, if something breaks down, you can call me, even if I'm home watching TV.Ĭallahan has guaranteed every part sold since 1925. I like your line and I like your prices, but there's a problem. Caught him right after Thanksgiving feast. In a way, these people are buying you, not just brake pads. He was the best at knowing what people wanted to hear and what people needed to hear. And you know how to do that, just like your dad. Very true, but there's two types of smarts: book smarts, which waved bye-bye to you long ago, and there's street smart the ability to read people. Why do you always have to de-turd these things? And that's what it takes to sell confidence. Hey, you got the wings 'cause you were relaxed, so you had confidence. If we didn't get the wings, so what? We still got that meat lover's pizza in the trunk. That 180 you just pulled with the waitress. Who's you're favorite little rascal? Alfalfa? Or is it Spanky?ĭid that board to the head knock something loose? Gee, I wonder if she goes out with one of the Yankees!īig day tomorrow. Richard! Were you watching, "Spank-tra-vision?" Maybe you were watching a movie with that funny comedian! Oh, whats his name? Buddy. How can you be reading documents, when they're in your briefcase? Hmm. Well, where are they? Geez, I don't see them! New guy's around the corner puking his guts out.Īll because you want to save a couple extra pennies. "Oh my God, we're burning alive!" "No! I can't feel my legs!" Here comes the meat wagon.Īnd the medic gets out and says, "Oh my God". There's a cliff! AAAAAHH! And your family's screaming, You're drivin' along, you're drivin' along, the kids start shouting from the back seat, "I gotta go to the bathroom, Daddy!" "Not now, damn it!" Truck tire. Now let's see what happens when you're driving with the "other guy's" brake pads. All of a sudden there's a truck tire in the middle of the road. Like, let's say you're driving along the road with your family. But for now, for your customer's sake, for your daughter's sake, ya might wanna think about buying a quality product from me. That's all it is, isn't it? Hey, if you want me to take a dump in a box and mark it guaranteed, I will. I seen it a hundred times.īut why do they put a guarantee on the box?īecause they know all they sold ya was a guaranteed piece of shit. The next thing you know, there's money missing off the dresser, and your daughter's knocked up. He sneaks into your house once, that's all it takes. The point is, how do you know the fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer? "Building model airplanes" says the little fairy well, we're not buying it. Why shouldn't it? Ya figure you put that little box under your pillow at night, the Guarantee Fairy might come by and leave a quarter, am I right, Ted? Guy puts a fancy guarantee on a box 'cause he wants you to feel all warm and toasty inside. Why would somebody put a guarantee on a box? Hmmm, very interesting.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |